My Favourite Couple , NOT !

What a great Christmas we had the past two days. Christmas Eve I worked and made some good money but as an example of what patience a waiter must have I will go through my couple that request me all the time and their order. Here it goes. They were the last to leave at 9PM.

I go over to the table.

Me: Hi and Merry Xmas!
Her: Thanks , you too. Now I would like an Ice Tea with no ice , but with mostly ginger ale in it and no straw or lemon. Dan will just have an ice tea with no ice with a lemon and lime. You can put the straw in it.

I get the drinks.

Her: Now we will take the house salad. What do you put in it again? She has had it many times but repeat again what is in it. Okay we will have the House Salad but can you make it mostly with Romaine Lettuce but you can still put some of the other lettuce too in it. I do not want the red onion in it but you have cucumbers so will take extra of those and some extra bell peppers as well. Put the dressing on the side with some parmesan cheese on the side as well. On bringing the salad she asks for some lemon wedges. I split it up in two bowls as they are sharing.

Now I have some other tables but while they are eating their salad I pass by and ask if they are ready to order.

Her: Yes and I don’t want to be a pain so I wrote it all out for you.
Me: No , no I want you to tell me.
Her: Okay are you sure.
Me: Yes.
Her: Okay I can’t blame you my writing is hard to read.
Me: No I just prefer you tell me so there is no misunderstanding.

I know this is going to take a while so I tend to my tables of 9 and 7.


Me: Okay I am ready.
Her: I will have your Pesto Salmon but without the Pesto. Instead I would like it done with Teriyaki sauce and you must have garlic , don’t you so I would like it done with some garlic and lemon and basil if you have it. I am sure you do. With that I will have the baked potato with chives only but I will not be able to eat that here so just bring a to go package with it when it comes out. Now what is the salmon usually served with?
Me: Asparagus
Her: Do you have any vegetables?
Me: Yes we have and I name them.
Her: Okay I would like the bell peppers but not sauteed but instead steamed.
Me : Okay.
Dan: I forgot what he wanted but he ordered something that was not even in the building.
Her: Dan why don’t you have the Mushroom Balsamic Chicken with the garlic mash.
Dan: Yeah sure I will have that. Dan is the easy one to please.

During the meal she asked for more teriyaki sauce. But the meal is done to her liking. Thank heavens.

After clearing I get the dessert menu.

They had a bottle of wine bought for them. I don’t know why. Probably to bribe them into leaving at a reasonable time. They want to order another and do. They are taking it home with them.

I bring the dessert menu over.

Dan: I will just have a cappucino.
Me: Only serve perked coffee here.
Her: Okay Dan why don’t we get tea. I will have a tea with two bags. ( I brought one ) He will have a tea but I want mine with milk and honey. You have honey don’t you?
Me: Yes
Her: I will take the Apple Crumble but I will not be able to eat it all so bring a take out container with it. I want extra cinammon on it and the ice cream that comes with it serve it separately so Dan can eat it here.
Dan: Just put the apple crumble in the take out so you need not dirty a plate. She will eat it out of the container and the rest just take home. I serve the crumble in a take out.

That is done.

They have some of their main course packed , dessert , a partial bottle of wine and a full one. It is like they just did their grocery shopping.

Her: Handing me a credit card she says I would like to pay for the wine separate from the meal.
Me: Okay I can do that when I give you the bill for the entire meal.
Her: She is bugged now cause she wants this done before the bill for the rest of the meal arrives to get it over with.

I make out the two bills and they spend about 10 minutes writing the gratuity then scratching it out making sure it is perfect then scratching it out making a new amount.

Finally they are the only ones left in the restaurant. We have closed early on Christmas Eve.

I do my side job while they are figuring things out and when they have done I go over. On the bottle of wine that came to $35.84 they leave me $4.16 and then Dan has cash in his hand for the larger bill and she says we are leaving a cash tip for the other bill. I guess the total came to $50.

Adding she wanted to leave me something good on the $50 bill , Dan hands over $12.

Merry Christmas! Anyway it ended up to be a good night but really I hope it is a while before these people come back. I know they have OCD and cannot help it but when they said they will see me again before the New Year my heart cringed.

But I did notice it was easier to serve them when it was real busy. I think it kind of got on their nerves when I wasn’t at their beck and call when a dirty plate needed removing. They would call me over and I would say sure I will be there shortly. Usually they come in real late when no one else is around. That is gruesome.

Hopefully they like the other waiter more that served them the last time. Wouldn’t that be great!



  1. Wow W/E that just made my head hurt reading it. Glad you received a decent tip, but they [her] are a tough table.People like that make me wonder why they even go out if they are that picky.

  2. jesus.. sounds like a pia table for sure.. but you handled them very well. I couldn't even attempt all those substitutions.

  3. SkippyMom…they are a piece of work that is for sure.

  4. Confessions of a Waitress…it is a tough table but what can you do. You just know that sooner or later they will go home.

  5. The Bitchy Waiter…I want them just not to sit in my section anymore. I will do things to piss them off next time.

  6. OMG, that was painful just reading about it – I can imagine how hard it was to wait on them. WOW! You're a saint.

  7. Mags…you do what you gotta do I guess. When you see them though you surrender any thought of it being easy.

  8. I bow before you. I had a couple like that, too, and I had to take deep breaths through my frozen smile. They were always very nice and left a little note afterwards about how great everything was, but seriously, you handle yourself very well. Perhaps you have a co-worker inform them next time that you've just had a traumatic brain injury and you are very ashamed but can't seem to handle special orders any longer.

  9. CJ…welcome and yes you are right. That may be a good thing I can try the next time.Ha. But really since I am off the next two nights I am hoping they come in and drive someone else insane.Lol

  10. I'm guessing they either don't know or don't care that they are such high maintaince. I wouldn't be surprised if they were yuppie a*holes. Let me guess…blonde, aged unfairly, nail probably done…husband quiet, secretly hates his life…

  11. Ohio Waitress…welcome and thank you for commenting. Actually it is true she has OCD which is like obsessive compulsive disorder or something like that. Imagine a full section or shift like that. Whoosh!

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